I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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