we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
