just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
