Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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