she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
