You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize