all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
