You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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