My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
