just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
