im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
