YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
