You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
