Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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