a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My dad just said "fuck circus"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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