Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
time to smoke my breakfast
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
