Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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