He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
