I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
