the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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