When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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