Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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