I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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