Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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