I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
