And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
