New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
