apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
