I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
