69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
