Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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