This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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