he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
