I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
