if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
