Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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