I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
