Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
