is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
