I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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