I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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