I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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