I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
