"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
