Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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