you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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