Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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