In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
