He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
