You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
