you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
