i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
