I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
