I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
