someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
